when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
