genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it's great music for shaving your balls
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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