No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
