Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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