I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm bleeding and have questions
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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