I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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