Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
