do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
jump out the window naked night went bad
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