Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
