carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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