We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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