well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize