So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
