Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
