like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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