It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
