so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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