what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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