You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
