This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
