worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
