Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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