Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
