my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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