I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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