You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
