You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
