i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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