Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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