He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
please come you make the beer taste better
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
