she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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