Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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