Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
