it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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