You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
