Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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