I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
