Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I checked into jail on foursquare
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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