lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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