can we get nightvision for the apartment?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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