How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
