so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
