giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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