New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
