Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
