I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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