so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
