it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
