YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
