what day is it and did you see me today?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
